I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize