Nicole vs. Life
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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