some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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