I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
