Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
