I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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