In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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