found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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