we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
