He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
