someone get that fucking seahorse.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
