I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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