My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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