I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
operation harelip BJ is a go
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We need to rekindle our bromance
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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