I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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