I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
