so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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