You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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