i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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