I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
