I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize