Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
