Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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