if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
dude. I can hear the air.
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