What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
