They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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