does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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