Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize