eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
