wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You've changed since you got that strap on
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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