there was a trapeze. enough said
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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