I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
