Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
