is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
