come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
