I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have fence marks all over my body
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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