"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
