Welp...herpes.
she looked like the before picture.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
