Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize