yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
