she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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