I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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