so explain again why im purple
no
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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