So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
there is puke in my bra ... again
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