You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
