were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it's like iHOP with fire
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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