Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
