it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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