Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize