I look better un-naked...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
