yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
