hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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