isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
