i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
