Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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