God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i've created a new STD.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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