why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
