so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
