you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
