Apparently you make a good broom.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
