I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
